When She's Smarter Than He, How Is The Relationship Impacted?

The phrase opposites attract often seems true in love. Opposites in love relationships can be helpful and they present challenges for partners.

A delicate balance of partner's strengths and weaknesses leads to successful relationships. Balance is hard to maintain when one partner's strengths outweigh the others. Sometimes these strengths which were attractive early on become overbearing and tip the scale.

Differences in intelligence levels can sometimes tip the balance and lead to problems.

An Uneven Playing Field

When intelligence levels differ, it can spell trouble for the couple. The wider the gap between IQs, the less the partners will have in common.

Open communication and frequent conversations are the foundation of strong relationships. These become challenging when there is intellectual disparity between partners.

Studies show that things become particularly tricky when the smarter partner is female. When “she” is smarter than “he” in a relationship, how is the dynamic affected? The answer varies, but the general principles are the same.

Studies show our society is still adapting to women as successful breadwinners. More and more women are establishing themselves as leaders in the workplace. Women are earning more degrees and higher GPAs than men.

These strides in their professional life do not translate into success in relationships. When a woman is more intelligent than her male counterpart, studies show relationships change.

Men feeling emasculated or inadequate

Men often feel inadequate or less masculine when their partner is more intelligent.

The world associates the ability to provide for a household with men. To a man a woman who is more intelligent or earning a higher salary than he may feel threatening.

Partners not sharing responsibilities

Partners who do not feel equally “yoked,” struggle to make joint decisions and to share responsibilities. For obvious reasons, this can lead to problems in the relationship. A male partner who feels overshadowed by his more-intelligent, more-successful female partner may feel unmotivated to participate equally.

Partners feeling dependent or resentful

Feeling less intelligent than his counterpart, a male may become dependent and rely on the female. Such dependency can lead to frustration and resentment in the female. In these cases, partners may struggle to exist in harmony.

Finding Balance

Using each partner's strengths for good is the key to relationship balance. Even where differing intelligence levels exist, harmony can be struck.

Recognize that intelligence exists in different forms and different ways. One of you may be more book-smart while the other has a more practical mind that can solve everyday problems.

It is quite possible to love and be in a healthy relationship with someone who is different than you. Instead of focusing on your differences, choose to focus on what you enjoy and the fun you have together.

Choose to focus on your partner's strengths and talents, not what he/she is lacking.

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